Win! Win! Win!

That's how I feel about the last two weeks. The break from chemo was wonderful. We enjoyed a family reunion in Idaho for 3 days and had a wonderful Father's Day/half done chemo family celebration. Emily made a piñata named cancer and we took turns "beating" it. My body responded to the rest with normal lab values and I felt better than I've felt in a while. I was thrilled that my CEA (carcinoembryonic antigen) dropped from 6.5 to 4.6. The drop supports the theory that the chemo is what is causing it to rise. There's no proof of that, but it sure makes sense to me.

So, last Tuesday, June 23rd I had treatment #6. My oncologist decided to reduce the dose back to 50%. She thinks 60% was too much as evidenced by the low platelet count. She feels it's better to proceed with the lower dose and stay on schedule than to continue the higher dose and have to take breaks in the treatment. I agree. I seem to be recovering from this treatment faster, probably because I was in better condition when it was given.

I feel so blessed to have endured this far. At the onset, and especially after the first treatment, I wondered how I could do it. But through prayers, blessings, love, and support from all my amazing family and friends I am half way. I can see the end and have hope and faith to continue the journey. I would be remiss to not acknowledge the spiritual help that has constantly sustained me, especially through the hard parts. I bear what I can and the rest is carried through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Praise God, and love and thanks to all of you!

Quick update

My 6th chemo treatment was scheduled for last Tuesday, June 9th. But, due to a low platelet count it was cancelled. Platelets are wonderful little cells that are produced in our bone marrow and have the job of clotting our blood. The normal range is 140,000 to 440,000. The goal for chemo is 100,000 or above. Two weeks ago at treatment #5 I was 87,000 and this week I was 66,000. So, time for a rest. One week off was suggested, but that throws some summer family reunion activities off, so I will take two weeks off and proceed with treatment #6 on June 23rd.

Initially I was disappointed. I was looking forward to celebrating the half way mark, but after thinking about it and how I am feeling, I know it is the right thing for me. My body needs a rest. This pushes the end of chemo to the middle of September.

I feel very blessed with continual guidance about the path I'm on. My heart remains full of peace about this process and gratitude for all my blessings. I am especially grateful for all the prayers, love, and support from so many wonderful people in my life. You are my earthly angels!

Expect the unexpected…and DON’T PANIC!!!!

One of the tests done to try to predict/monitor tumor growth is called a carcinoembryonic antigen (CEA). It’s far from a perfect predictor of cancer. There is a whole list of nonmalignant issues that can cause it to increase – many of them related to the GI system. Chemotherapy can also cause an increase. When an increase occurs in a patient with cancer the protocol is to go looking for possible new tumor activity. My CEA tests have always stayed within the normal range (1-3). But since starting chemo my CEA has been 3.4 a month ago and 6.5 last week. It’s worrisome for sure.

So a CT of my chest, abdomen, and pelvis were done yesterday and the results are in. There is no evidence of malignancy in my abdomen and pelvis. The large pelvic blood clot has resolved and the colon inflammation is healing nicely – still present but much better. There is a 3.1 cm x 1 cm “new mass” in my lower right lung. Remember – DON’T PANIC! The first thought from the radiologist that read the film and my oncologist was to suspect a new malignant mass. BUT, when I was so sick after my first treatment I also developed a pulmonary emboli and area of infarction in (you guessed it) my lower right lung. My oncologist called the radiologist and had him take another look at the film. After a closer look at the mass and surrounding blood vessels he feels it could “easily” be inflammation from the infarction. One other observation from me is that cancer usually does not cause pain and I do have pain in that area. Infarctions do cause pain.

So a situation that was to be a game changer is now considered a watch and monitor. I will have the CEA repeated in 1 month, another CT of my chest in 2 months, and my current chemotherapy will continue. This remains a worrisome situation and the possibility of a new tumor is real. However, so is the possibility that it is simply inflammation. In the meantime prayers, hope, and trying to live a healthy and happy life style continue.

Round 5 of chemo went well despite a 10% increase in my 5FU dose. The norm seems to be 5 days of yuck and then I slowly start to feel better. By one week past the onset of chemo I am feeling pretty good. I have to pace myself, but by then I’m getting better every day.

Last Sunday was Stake Conference and the theme was about hope - probably because so many people in our stake are having challenges - poor health, emotional, family problems. The scripture theme was from Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." It implies we need to have a desire for hope, which to me says we can choose to have hope or despair. Hope is a gift of the spirit and ultimately comes from the Lord. Despair, on the other hand, comes from a dark place and tries to pull us away from all things good and positive. Without question hope is "a tree of life." It produces happiness and optimism. It is an active expectation of good things to come. This theme really touched my heart...not because I have been to that place of despair, but rather because I have been blessing with so much hope. Not once have I felt despair. I don't know what the ultimate outcome of my journey will be. It doesn't really matter because I know for sure that either way all will be well. I am loved and cared for by earthly and heavenly beings. No one could ask for more! Hope...YES!!!